clothes wearing a new shirt entire outfit. change our clothes,  wardrobe clothing wardrobe clothing fits and fits clothes clothes clothing a jacket or shawl a jacket or a shawl jacket in the car wardrobe purse wardrobe purse. everyday wear wardrobe malfunction wardrobe wardrobe wardrobe your face face throw water wash your face in the morning and then apply your makeup. Taking care of your face takes time, dedication, and effort. If you want to have flawless skin you will need to stick to a routine. You also need a few ingredients that can give you the most successful results. You're in luck because this article will list the main ingredients and give you tips to getting healthy, flawless skin. All that's left is you. see a difference in your skin. important for your body. Your body tends to build up toxins in your system over time by various things for various reasons. When you drink water, it removes and cleanses those toxins from your body. It's kind of like giving the inside of your body a bath. If the outside of your body gets bathe regularly, then the inside of your body deserves the same treatment. When you are regularly drinking a recommended amount of water daily, then you are removing the toxins from your body, which means you are reducing the amount of oil in your face that creates those nasty bumps. to clear those toxins from your body. While drinking the recommended amount of water daily, another important ingredient for healthy flawless skin is vitamins. Value of Vitamins Add vitamins to your daily routine. May people in the world are deficient in one vitamin or another. Vitamins do tons of wonders for us and our bodies. Vitamins help grow and repair our bodies in so many ways we do not see or recognize. Taking vitamins helps you try to maintain a healthy balance in your body, because you are getting the healthy supplements you need. You will see your skin begin to show a natural glow. A glow that no bronzer or make up can give you. If you continued on a daily vitamin regimen, you should begin to see your skin brighten in its own natural way. Day & Night Wash The next step to a "clean and clear" face is to wash your face daily morning and night. Washing your face helps to remove dirt and dead skin cells that is on your face. When you don't wash your face, the dirt and dead skin cells build upon your face clogging your pores, in which they cannot breathe, resulting into an unhappy pimpled face. Your pores need to breathe just as you do. Remember, you can not be lazy on this step. Most people begin the routine of washing their face daily, morning and night, but then they slowly discontinue the process and ask themselves a few days later, "Why isn't my skin clear?" It's not clear because you stopped your regimen! If you are saying to yourself right now, "Ugh, I don't have enough time." or "It is too much effort.", then you will not see the best results. The Best Cleanser wash your face morning and night with a face cleanser. best type of face cleanser that is for you. A face cleanser may work for your friend but not for you, because everyone's face is different. Do some thorough research for the skin type you have and the types of face cleansers you could use. Once you have found some face cleansers, it's time to begin to try them out to see if it will help you. It is understandable that you are in a hurry to achieve a flawless look but don't use the cleanser for two days and then toss it away because you assume it doesn't work for you. You should continuously use the cleanser for a minimum of 4 weeks, to determine if you see some improvement or not. Make sure that you are washing your face morning and night or washing your face as the directions on the cleanser tells you to. Be diligent and you will be happy with your results. Moisturize, Moisturize, & Moisturize Moisturizing your face is another important step to achieving flawless skin. Moisturizing your face helps to keep your skin from drying up and also keeps your skin nice and soft.  It is best to moisturize your face with something that is oil free and fragrant free. Again do thorough research on the type of moisturizer you should purchase for your skin type. You are what you think, you are what you do, and you are what you eat. To obtain flawless skin you have to watch what you eat. Eating a lot of oily and greasy foods can lead to an increase of breakouts on your face. Begin to eat healthier one day at a time to improve your diet. A healthy diet produces healthy skin, and healthy skin dramatically increases your chances of having flawless skin. We're all hoping for it to come soon.  The warm weather, shining sun and the cool breeze. It's such a great time of the year. With the seasons changing, our wardrobes change along with it. We begin to wear lighter clothing, flowy dresses and skirts. This year when making the transition, make it chic, savy, and playful. Tips for Dresses & Skirts Think of spring as a playful and happy type of season. Imagine how you can incorporate it into dresses and skirts. Your dresses and skirts should be feminine and playful. Be sure to wear your dresses and skirts in a manner that represents you best. You don't want to wear anything that gives the wrong impression of who you are. You are a divine being, let others treat you with respect by observing what you wear. Tips for Shirts Bright colors and pastels are in! Wear bright colored shirts that have a soft tone. The best colors to wear are pastel colors. These colors are bright but still have a soft tone to them. A good combination to use would be to wear bright colored shirts as the main base to your outfit, then add a little bit of darker colors to your outfit here and there. For example wearing a blue pastel shirt with some dark brown jewelry, or yellow pastel shirt with a dark green tank top underneath that shows a little bit of the color. Wearing blouses in the springtime is also a plus; it gives you that playful feel which works well in the spring. Make sure to mix the colors, picking shades that work well together, other wise it could lead to a big wardrobe disaster. Tips for Wearing Sandals Another great plus during the warmer weather is the ability to wear sandals. Bright colors on toenails do not quite fit in with the spring season. So save those bright color nail polish for the summer time. During the springtime wear neutral deep colors that will give a nice finish. For example nice plum color or forest green or deep blue will work. Colors like these will give a good balance to the rest of your spring outfit. Knowing Your Seasons When looking in the closet to select your wardrobe, ask yourself, "Does this work for the feel of spring?" Get into the habit of knowing what will work and what does not work for different seasons of the year. Every season you can look fantastic and chic! Start now to get in the rhythm of knowing what to wear each season. declare your summer independence from blow dryers, straighteners, and curling irons today. It's difficult to maintain heat-it-to-achieve-it styles in the summer. The sun is scorching hot and washing your hair becomes more frequent. Thermal styling tools can give you an instant look, but constant heat styling can thin and damage natural, color- and chemically-treated hair.  Let your hair cool off by trying alternative no- to- low heat methods for volume, texture, or sleekness. .Flip your hair upside down using a paddle brush, smoothing the back of your hair from the nape to the front (Optional: For extra hold, lightly spritz your hair with alcohol-free hairspray) When you use your heat styling tools less, your strands get a chance to breathe. Challenge yourself to give up heat for two weeks and evaluate your hair.  If it hasn't been severely damaged by heat, you may notice that your hair looks and feels healthier and stronger. Each low-to-no heat method requires less stress on your hair and an overall healthy approach to your styling routine. Spend the rest of summer working on your tan, and not your hair. Eliminate Puffy Eyes Before you wash your face in the mornings, use a cue tip to lightly dab a very small amount of aloe vera gel (revered for its healing, anti-inflammatory, and cooling properties) over your eyes. Leave the gel on your eyes for five to ten minutes and then wash your face with your regular cleanser. You will you feel instantly refreshed and your eyes will look brighter and more youthful. The late-night puffiness around your eyes will begin to disappear. Good morning, Sunshine! Banish Rough Skin To remedy dry and cracked skin, formulate your own brown sugar scrub body treatment. The natural glycolic acid found in sugar works to gently slough off dead skin cells to reveal brighter skin. massage your sugar scrub to dampened skin. To lock in moisture, towel-pat dry and apply your lotion while your skin is slightly damp. Save your skin from damaging sun rays with a generous amount of sunscreen. Nothing can wreak havoc on your skin like sun damage. a sunscreen with SPF 15 may allow you to stay in the sun for 150 minutes without getting burned. However, even if you use sunscreen, try to chill in the shade for most of the day and feel fabulous in a big floppy hat for maximum skin protection. Your hair may be fighting the common hair cold right now- dryness, breakage, and dullness- due to the harsh weather. balance of protein and moisture in your hair. When the moisture and protein levels in your hair are in sync, you will notice less breakage, length retention, and an overall increase in the health of your hair. If your hair is hard, rough, or brittle you may need a deep conditioning treatment. This will help you restore softness to your hair and smooth your cuticle, the outermost layer of your hair strand.  When applying a deep conditioning treatment, try to use a conditioner that is water-based and contains at least one humectant.  Any product that lists humectants- propylene glycol, honey, glycerin- and water at the top of their ingredient list will work best to help your hair stay soft and moisturized. No More Weather Hair Worries When rain arrives unexpectedly, you aren't running to find shelter or making a make-shift umbrella out of a newspaper or your purse. You can play in the rain without worrying about you kinky hair getting ruined. Even in humidity, you can tie your hair back and let the humidity amplify your curls and get unbelievable volume. Curly girls who don't enjoy frizz or undefined curls can still leave the house and venture into high-humidity weather. Just be sure to apply a silicone-free styling serum on dry hair to keep your curls in sync. Your Facial Features Pop Some women with more traditional African features -full lips, broad nose, and high cheekbones- can appear more youthful with curly hair than straight hair. Flat hair can make these facial features seem larger than they actually are, and hide its true beauty. Shorter, tightly curled hair seems to defy gravity when worn out in an Afro style. It "lifts" the face and draws more attention to the eyes and cheekbones. You Become Healthier many times have you heard, "I know I need to go to the gym, but I don't want to mess up my hair"? When you wear your hair curly, you don't have to make the choice of having either a great head of hair or a great body. Let's be honest, your hair needs more than the perfect shampoo and conditioner. To give you hair optimum health, you have to eat right and exercise. When you have naturally curly hair, you no longer worry about your hair "reverting" when you sweat from a work-out. To freshen your curls after the gym, you can water-rinse or cleanse you hair with a sulfate-free shampoo. You Can Experiment with Color When you let your natural tresses roam free and treat it with care, you can experiment with more color without worrying about double-processing your hair with chemicals or daily doses of heat. If you apply heat on a daily basis or wear a relaxer, adding another hair-altering chemical like color to the mix can be a recipe for dryness and breakage. Even with chemical-free hair, color can still be damaging.  Look for alternative and gentler coloring options like Henna or semi-permanent glosses. Maintain a healthier head of hair with color by putting the relaxer away, and treating your hair with nourishing products formulated for color-treated hair.Running to the salon every few weeks to tame those "unruly roots" is no longer your concern. Salon chemical and hair straightening services can cost upwards of fifty dollars per visit. Now that you've embraced the beauty of your bouncy ringlets, your wallet is packed with extra cash. Indulge your hair with at-home nourishing treatments using deep conditioners and essential oils. The next time you see a woman with an eye-catching hair style or lustrous curls, give her a compliment. Whether you have a spouse to give you roses or not, give yourself a love letter this month that highlights every feature you love to play up, make your hair one of your favorite features. Whether your hair is short or long, curly or straight, it is beautiful and deserves to feel loved. The New Year is your time to shine. Your hair should be no exception. If you need more products just to fake a healthy appearance from split ends, dullness, or limp hair, January may be the perfect time to start over.  A healthy hair goal can be achieved if you start with the right plan.  Trim Your Ends Get rid of split, frayed, and heat-damaged ends with a professional trim. Your hair cannot look its best when damaged ends are getting all of the attention.  A trim can be anywhere from one-fourth of an inch to two inches, depending on the amount of damage. If you are apprehensive about getting a trim, you can do minimal shaping each month. However, eventually all the damaged ends will need to be cut off. Once damaged ends are removed, your hair will instantly look fuller, smoother, and healthier. Categorize your products (shampoos, conditioners, styling crème, etc.) and select one from each that works the best for your hair. The products that you do not select can be given away to friends, thrown out, or saved for the summer time. With a simple selection of tried and true products, your hair can be pampered and nourished with the correct products that work best on your hair. Commit to a Hair Care Schedule Consistently bathe your hair in deep conditioning, hot oil, and protein treatments. Your hair type and needs will determine how often you should do each treatment. There should be a healthy balance of protein and moisture to promote softer and stronger strands. Have a trusted stylist evaluate your hair. He or she will be able to help you commit to a healthy hair care schedule and help decide what healthy hair practices would work best for you.Handle Hair with Care Now that you are fully invested into your customized healthy hair journey, be gentle to your strands. Avoid styles that pull at the scalp and edges of your hair. The corners of your eyes should not meet at your scalp line. Instead, style your hair into loose, chic ponytails and buns. Keep hair manipulation low, only using proper combs and brushes sparingly and gently to detangle and style hair. Always moisturize and protect the ends of your hair to minimize split ends.  Treat your hair with care, and it will flourish throughout the New Year. Curly hair has been called many names: beautiful, unique, unkempt, trendy, unprofessional, rebellious, romantic, lustrous, and the list goes on. Within the past five years, major hair companies have realized that curly hair is also very "marketable". When you listen to your hair and notice what it likes, your curly hair can become synonymous with another word - healthy.You are mingling at a party and in walks a bombshell in a fitted jacket, the best pair of skinny jeans you have seen, a head full of luscious curls, and a confident laugh that fills the room.  You immediately envy the stillettoed goddess.  improve your look and overall confidence.  With minor changes and implementing the following "secrets" you will have the tools to always feel confident and look and your best. Wear Your Favorite Outfit When you like what you are wearing your confidence level rises.  However, there are a few fashion tips you want to keep in mind.  Tailored waistlines on dresses or jackets create slimming effects and pencil skirts hide upper leg blemishes and highlight calves.  Black is always slimming but spice it up with red accents (scarf, shoes, jewelry).  Highlight your best feature to feel extra sexy. Hair Is Important Many women overlook the importance of a well coiffed do.  This year, to the benefit of all women, volume and curls are in.  Try using hot rollers because they are easy to use, quick, and will not damage your hair.  They create a loose curl that softens any look.  Leave your hair down.  If this drives you crazy, use a decorative clip to sweep up a side.  If you don't have rollers, use a curling iron to add volume and curls to your tresses. The Arsenal Of Beauty Secrets These are wonderful beauty weapons used by many Hollywood stars. Most women are so good at these "tricks" that the result appears to be natural. Non Make-up Wearers You are blessed to have a fresh clean look naturally.  For a special event, it is nice to wear a minimal amount of make-up for a more formal look.  If you don't wear make-up, mascara and lip-gloss will enhance your look.  Fake Eyelashes Fake eyelashes are a great way to widen the eye and create a come-hither look.  The packs with sections or individual lashes rather than the full strip are easier to apply and look more natural.  Apply them to the outer corner of your eye following the natural lash line.  It will add a little length and enhance the look of the eye. Curly hair is a commitment, a long-term relationship. It is more prone to splitting up, as in split ends. It is constantly changing its mood, one day it's a poof, then it's a tangled nightmare. Style & Class Let's face it baggy jeans, baggy t-shirts, and over-sized flannels are not stylish. Anything that may fall into that category needs to be removed from your closet now! Also remove anything that is too tight. Clothes that are too tight are never in style however, don't confuse fitted with too tight. Confidence is Fashion There is nothing more sexy to a man than a woman that walks into the room with confidence. Make sure that whatever it is your wearing you feel great in it. Whether you are running errands or going out you should always feel confident in what you are wearing. The 4 Must-Haves A fitted jacket is essential this fall. Whether you are wearing it with your dress slacks to work or with your trendy worn jeans, a fitted jacket is a must have! Fitted Jacket For the tall and slim- Military jacket For the athletic build- tattered Levi jacket For the curvy- lightweight trench Tall Boots Tall boots make heads turn. You will want to splurge on this buy and ensure that you are getting good quality. They are great for the office or for a night out on the town. For the office put on a pair of tights with a skirt and for the night out leave the tights at home. The Perfect Pair of Jeans Every woman should have a pair of jeans that shape her figure, gives her comfort and builds her confidence. For this fall go for a fitted boot cut with embellishment on the back pockets or for the tall and slim woman go with the skinny jean and tuck them in your tall boots. Large Leather Hobo Handbag With the chill in the air a large hobo is needed. It will carry all your normal hand bag items like your wallet, phone, water bottle, ect. You can put a scarf and gloves in there too. To keep it stylish go with something that has a rock star edge to it. Just remember to control the amount of rock star. Shop around for the perfect hobo for you. Remember that every woman has a unique body shape. Take the fashion forecast and make it your own. Put your own unique spin on everything that you wear and remember to just be you! Fall is a great season to try out new colors. Now that we know the models wearing the colors are not perfect, hopefully we will feel a bit more adventurous with fall trends! You are just as beautiful as these models, so embrace your uniqueness, and remember they make you who you are. You are beautiful and unique. Every laugh line that is etched on your face should be treasured, every wrinkle, and every scar should be worn with proud. All those things have made you who you are today, and with that, you should be proud. Eyeshadow, Blush, & Lipstick This season, we are seeing lots of purples and grays on lids.  These eye shadows have a ton of varying shades, so there is definitely one that is guaranteed to look fabulous on you.  Maybe even more than one!  These shades work with all eye colors, so do not be afraid to experiment.  With all the focus on eyes and lips, you can take it easy on the blush. Shoes shoes shoes fabulous shoes Shades of roses and mochas will match these shadows fabulously, and keep you looking fall fresh. For lips, try shades of berries and reds. mascara and lip-glosses.  Used mascara's can be very irritating to the delicate eye area, and lip-glosses can harbor unwanted bacteria.  Lipsticks can be cleaned with a quick swipe of alcohol.  Clean all eye shadows, swiping a tissue with alcohol over the shadow or the cream shadow.  Also be careful.
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 ARTICLES     I    KNOW    I     SHAPE     I    BUILD    I     STYLE    I    TOOLS    I     SURVEYS     I     LEARN     I      SHARE
Give Yourself A Care Package

New Beginnings

Battling The Work Environment: Is It...

The Art of Perfume & You

Invest for Yourself, Self-Esteem

A Natural Approach - Holistic Therapy

Supportive Exercising

Blessings, Curses, & the Human ...

The Spirit of Service

Are You Trapped by Your ...

Gaining Strength

March Out Of Winter & Into Spring

Fall In Love With You

Loving Yourself Today


Trials of Happiness

Letting Go of Bad Situations


Give Yourself A Care Package
By: Jeanine DeHoney

        Care packages are often given to a loved one for a long, sometimes uncharted and arduous journey ahead. A wonderful box full of a potpourri of things that evoke smiles, and offer comfort and nourishment. With a charitable spirit we give care packages to our friends, family and neighbors even when we ourselves are having frugal times. How often though do we offer care packages to ourselves? When do we present to ourselves emotional parcels that nurture our dreams, our gifts, our body and soul?
    We women especially have grown up observing generations of female family members whose spirit of service towards others never overlapped to them.  This is not the rite of passage we want to pass on to our daughters, granddaughters, and other female kin or for our sons to see and choose as must have traits in their future girlfriends and wives. We want our daughters to effortlessly coddle, love, and anchor their spirits and souls as if it is second nature. We want them to know that love and care of self is the norm and not the exception.
     Are you that person in need of such self care? Are you physically and emotionally drained from being all and giving all to everyone but yourself?  If you are, it's time for you to give yourself a care package, lovingly wrapped and filled with all the gifts you'll need to bring joy, serenity, and whatever else you might be lacking into your life. To get you started, here are a few suggestions.

An Affirmation or Quote
Put an affirmation or quote in your care package. One amazing quote you can include is by Mary Pickford, the late Canadian-born American motion picture actress. She said, "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call FAILURE is not the falling down, but the staying down."  The affirmations or quotes can be from a person in history you admire or from your eighty year old Aunt who you sit on the porch with during summer visits and who offers you sweet tea and sage gems of wisdom. Affirmations and quotes encourage you, can inspire you and help you get through a challenge or reach a goal.

Beauty
Put something beautiful in your care package no matter how simplistic or inexpensive it is. Beauty is all around us if we truly focus on seeing it instead of all the unsightliness and vileness in the world. A flower growing in the concrete, a baby's smile, a father shooting hoops with his small son, a silver haired woman coming out of the beauty salon in all her glory, a beautiful sepia photo of an extended family, a
bubbly dish of peach cobbler just out of the oven. That's all beauty, and when you surround yourself with beauty you feel energized and inspired. 

Exhale
Put a reminder in your care package to exhale. Too often we forget to exhale in
the midst of our hectic day or when we are in the midst of a trial. Make a promise to
yourself that you will take a deep breath and exhale more frequently, purposely, knowing that a deep breath and its release will have a calming effect and give you time to think things through before making a decision about something that is troubling.

Laughter
Put some belly aching laughter in your care package. Laughter is like medicine. It strengthens your immune system and helps you think more clearly. It makes life's bitterness a lot sweeter and a bit more hilarious. So laugh, often and loud, alone and with loved ones, especially with children so they can see your guard down, your elation. It does a spirit and a family good.

Self-care
Make self-care the lining of your care package. Take great care of yourself
physically and emotionally so that you can refuel your life with more energy. Your
body is indeed a temple so it deserves ample rest, proper nutrition, pampering and inner peace.

A Vision
Add a vision to your care package. A vision will give you a life purpose. It will make you excited to get out of bed and face a new day even when dark clouds loom overhead. A vision will stretch and challenge you to be that beautiful, multifaceted woman you were destined to be, so do everything to safeguard yours.

Confidence
Place confidence in your care package. It will help you stand taller, step surer and speak with poise. Let confidence freefall from your inner core so that you can realize your goals and master any task at hand, businesswise or personal.

One True Friend
It's wonderful to have many good friends in your circle but it's even better to have one true friend in your care package. This is a friend who loves and supports you unconditionally, who loves you for who you are and not what you have to give. This is a friend who you can trust, who is honest, who inspires you and who has the same core values as you.

Put some fun in your care package.  When was the last time you went roller skating or went on the scariest ride at the amusement park instead of standing by the sidelines. When was the last time you danced barefoot and fancy-free through the house on a Saturday morning to a bunch of oldies? Fun is indeed for grown-ups.

Remember, a care package can leave an indelible and esteemed imprint on the person it is given to. Let that deserving person be you.

Published February 2011 © Copyright


New Beginnings
By: Diana Paino-Fulton

        Well it is the time of year where we have made our resolutions, or have decided we will no longer make that resolution anymore as we broke it last time. Whatever the case, we go on with a fresh start as it is January, a new year and time in our life, a fresh new number for the year, and a chance to say goodbye to the last year. So where are we really in this New Year and new beginning?
        Whenever new beginnings start in our life they bring an excitement for life, and its possibilities. It may be a new career, new home, new baby, new marriage, or new way of life you have decided is in order. With all this comes joy, a new hope of the good that will come. A fresh breath that we breathe, a bounce in our step, and a song in our heart as we dance all the way through our new beginning.
        It is so good to look back and remember the wonderful moments we did have in our lives last year and be ever so grateful. With all the years and the moments in your life, can you pick just one moment that was the most special moment for you in your life? If you really looked at all of the new beginnings you have had which one would you pick? This is a moment we all need to take at this wonderful time of year, to stop, and be quiet, listening to our heart, releasing the joy for every special moment we have had and will have in our new year.
           With a smile we once again glance back at those dear moments. But this goes with the joy of looking ahead, hoping for many more blessing or believing for that fresh start and new life that will happen in our new year. Our thoughts may wander and our hearts may sing. We may dream of moments we would love to see happen. Then we come down from the moment and pray, releasing our trust, hope and faith in a higher being, the one that will definitely be a part of our new beginning.
        This is an individual thought, and individual selection, isn't that so wonderful, that we are able to be different in our way of life. It is okay for us to choose, it is okay for us to believe, and continue to have faith. What a freedom that brings even as this article is being written. This freedom of choice to believe in a greater power and source of truth that guides, protects, and comforts you. It is a freedom of choice which at times as women we may put aside for others. Let this year be the year that you will hold on to your faith and trust. It is okay to be noble and loyal, never letting go.
        Today it is time to be refreshed in our new beginning, our new time of year, our new hopes and dreams. It is okay; this is between you and your heart, between you and the higher power you believe governs. It is an awakening of you, with a breath of new life for you today. Let the new beginning begin, let the new found freedom refresh your heart and soar. It is okay this is your new beginning! Release and embrace your dreams, refresh your heart, and soar like an eagle as you travel into your new journey this New Year.

Published January 2011 © Copyright


Battling The Work Environment: Is It All In My Head?
By: Ansa Edim
 
Sometimes it's difficult to tell whether someone means you harm or if it's all in your head. How can you tell the difference? Sometimes it's the truth, but sometimes your self-confidence is playing tricks on you. Whether it's in your head or not there are ways to address the situation in a positive, confident manner.

Never Let Your Emotions Rule
There are times when you may get a task and not understand how it came to be on your desk. You may be frustrated not knowing the details behind it. The first step is to calmly ask for the details if you truly feel that it's necessary. If you are kept in secret, stay confident. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Simply state how you feel.

Ever-Changing Position Description
There may be instances when you believed you were hired for one thing, but end up doing something entirely different or even more frustrating: someone officially takes over your duties without you being informed. What do you do? Do you lash out at management or other employees? Do you brood in your office and do nothing? There is a fine line between composed self-control and self-confidence and a complete lack of both. In a situation where you feel purposely left out always give your peers the benefit of the doubt.

Asking with Confident & Politeness
In the vein of killing them with kindness, smile and politely ask what is going on. Staying polite and in control while asking various questions that come with changes may open the eyes of your peers to how much their hasty changes affect you. Ask what your duties are and what is expected of you going forward. Will you work alongside someone new? Are you relieved of all duties? Ask for clarification so that you don't step on any toes.

Feelings of Isolation
Are there are inside jokes or work-related projects that rarely involve you? Often coworkers congregate around a place in the office, talking about their weekends or planning lunch together. If you do not feel included and you would like to be, step out of your office and join your coworkers. Find ways to join the conversation.

Knowing how to react to situations and when to act on a gut feeling is extremely important. You never want to overreact, lose your cool or confidence. The decisions you make in stressful times will determine whether you ruin your chances at work or in a social group. We react with anger when we feel that others have threatened our confidence, our abilities, our neglected us. In many cases, people are not looking to offend us. No matter the situation, always stay confident, stand for yourself, be polite, take inituative, and never lose your cool. As you employ these tactics you will notice positive self-growth and learn how to handle any situation.

Published November 2010 © Copyright


The Art of Perfume & You
By: Tracey Kwan

        There are so many things that can allow a woman to express herself. One of those things is the perfume she chooses to wear. Perfume, or in French parfum is a mixture of fragrant essential oils and aroma compounds used to give the human body or living spaces a pleasant and/or sweet scent. The word perfume, "per' meaning through and "fumar" meaning to smoke, help us understand the translation of the medium itself. The perfume you decide to use is manufactured synthetically or extracted from plant or animal sources. Your choice of the perfume you select allows you to express your own uniqueness.

The Experience Of The Fragrance
Each fragrance you admire was designed as a masterpiece. Just as a builder starts with a foundation to his structural masterpiece, so too does a designer when putting together thoughts when formulating a fragrance. Imaging putting on your favourite perfume, as the smell of your favourite fragrance first hits your nose when you spray a perfume in the air or on your pulse points, known as "the top notes" contains the lightest smell of the greens, fruits or citrus and may even contain a bouquet of light scented florals. The top notes quickly dissipate into the middle notes. You should now be entering into the smell of florals in a woman's perfume.

To fully experience the heart notes, allow the perfume to sit for 10 to 15 minutes on your pulse points in order to have the intended memorable scent.  Finally, and some say, most importantly, are the base notes which is sometimes referred to as the dry down.  It is important because it is what the wearer is ultimately left with hours after the perfume is sprayed. In the end, discovering whether your body chemistry and taste are happy to be left with the scent of Patchouli, vanilla, amber, oak moss, woods like cedar or musk is important. It's important to wait several hours before making a decision about a perfume because of this lasting scent.

A Fragrance That Is Uniquely Yours
Have you ever thought of making your own perfume?  Fragrances have become increasingly more sophisticated in an effort to allow us to express our own individuality. Using the technology of a lab, you can go beyond the packaged offerings and create your own fragrance creations.  For the alchemist in all of us, there are ways to blend your own essential oils, allowing you to personalize your fragrance with apothecary-style form a variety of perfume lab retailers. You can personalize a fragrance to also include your own custom designer labelling.  Also, lab retailers may allow you to mix your own oils or create additional fragranced products by selecting and blending fragrance oils with a scented massage oil, hand cream or lotion to create your own suite or line of products. If you are not a hands on kind of person don't worry, you can still create your own unique fragrance. You can work with a fragrance designer to create an idea to your specifications.

Use Your Global Connection
You as the designer of your own fragrance "masterpiece" have more access to the flora and fauna from around the globe. There is a range of unique qualities and varieties of scent, which also includes fashion from raw materials gathered from around the world. To name a few, you have Hyacinths and Mango flowers from the Middle East, Frangipani from Brazil and South America, Vanilla Beans from Mexico and Mint from the Mediterranean and western Asia and new discoveries from the Rain Forest.

Go Green In Fragrance
With the growing trend to return to natural perfumes, you too can be environmentally educated and want to choose products that do not harm the mother earth. You can choose ecologically harvested oils such as the oils obtained from Sandalwood trees.  Also, if you have a mindset not only to buy products which satisfy your scent of smell but also help you medically heal, increase your spiritual attachment or which help you relax and de-stress in a very hectic society; you can seek after these oils as well.

We can get clues of our past by understanding the reasons behind the choices we make with scents. Today, highly designed perfume bottles from the past are being sought by buyers from the auction houses, many of which are highly collectible. As in the past, fragrances will continue to influence our tastes and fashion choices. It is a reflection of our economic climate, our customs and our beliefs. Your own unique perfume that you design or you purchase from the store is priceless because it's your selection, your choice, or your creation. Perfumes allow you to extend that expression by embracing the fragrances you adore. Also, perfumes reflect on your current mood, your world, and your being. The way you feel about yourself, your esteem, your confidence reflects on your style and choice to express. Let the choices you make every day whether it is in selecting a perfume or selecting anything else in your life be made to reflect your divine worth.

First published July 2011 © Copyright



Invest for Yourself, Self-Esteem
By: Tracey Kwan

There is no better feeling of self esteem in the world than the feeling you get when looking down upon your own healthy bank book.  This sometimes is much easier said than done.  As women, our personal needs are often set aside to meet the immediate needs of our families and let's face it; we are usually the lower income earners when compared to our male counterparts.  But, with careful planning, you too can be ahead of the game.  Don't give up.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  As working women, we are more likely to be recognized for our experience, so as time marches forward, our income gap with men generally starts to narrow.

If you haven't already started saving, make today the first day that you commit to this goal.  Start saving with small increments at first.  Even if you start with just $25.00 per month.  Start by taking money out of your checking account and setting up an automatic transfer into a separate, high interest savings account.  Shop around for the best returns on your money.  The idea is to develop the habit of saving.  You can always increase the amount as time goes on and you will probably do this after you begin to see results and when you see that your financial situation is improving.  It is better if you cannot see the income growing.  Out of sight means out of mind and you are less likely to touch your money for impulse buys.  This money should be used for investing.

Make a habit of looking at your total only with a view of locking it into investments.  However, if you are the type of woman who firmly grabs their organic scrub brush while using it as a microphone as you blare out Madonna's Material Girl proud and loud in the shower each night, it might be a good idea to set up a second account at the same time in order to fund that Gucci watch or the latest Coach handbag that you cannot resist as you stroll by the storefront window.  If there are no funds in this second account, walk back home and start singing in the shower again until there is enough money.  Saving is not about depriving.  It's about organizing funds correctly and becoming aware of when you should be saying no and when you should be rewarding yourself.

You will be surprised how much your money will grow with time and eventually you should seek out an experienced financial advisor to help you manage your growth correctly.  At the same time, a good financial advisor should also be able to give you sound advice when unexpected pit falls present themselves.  It is very important to choose the right financial investor.  Take your time and talk to people you trust and people you know who are already good with their money.  Look for those who have a conservative, practical nature with their money and/or investments and those who are not looking to make a quick buck. Until you feel confident you have found such an individual, continue to learn and invest on your own without high risk. 

It can be fun to learn about returns on investments such as bonds and mutual funds.  Learning takes time and if you do not know where to start there are so many great books that can help you. One classic bestselling book on investments is The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton.  Chilton is a talented writer. He explains with ease what to look for when purchasing mutual funds in layman's terms.   If you are looking for motivation to get started, this book will also help you with that too.  Remember that as long as you put something away continuously, you will accumulate wealth and at the same time your own knowledge about investments will likely increase.  You will be able to make more informed decisions for yourself and be more knowledgeable when it comes time for you to work with financial experts to achieve your future financial goals.

Eventually, a bank will reward your careful planning by offering you a line of credit.  When this is offered to you, take the bank up on their offer.  Use this opportunity to transfer any debt you may have accumulated from credit cards and work hard to pay off those debts.  If you are not in debt, congratulations!  You have already learned to live within your means. Continue to do so. Keep your line of credit for emergency expenses only.  That unexpected car expense or a leaky roof qualifies but the very hip, multi-coloured funky tattoo of the "Goddess of Love" covering your entire thigh down to your knee does not qualify.

It's almost guaranteed that life will throw you the unexpected bad luck from time to time and you want to be in a position to throw yourself a life line.  You will thank yourself later for giving yourself this sense of empowerment.  The first time you are able to rely on yourself financially in a crisis is the day when your financial and personal freedom begins.  With a financial plan in action, it's going to be a good life.

First published September 2010  © Copyright



A Natural Approach - Holistic Therapy
By: Tracey Kwan

Are you a mother looking for stress relief, looking to bring your body back into balance? Are you tired of using pills in order to resolve health issues? Are you looking for an alternative to heal health ailments in which your regular doctor does not seem to understand or know how to treat?  If you are looking for a more natural way to approach your general health, then you may want to enlist the help of a holistic therapist as one source of resolving your health concerns.
        A holistic therapist's job is to take into account the whole person's health and analyse things like your diet or your mental health including stress at home and/or work. You can advise them of any known health concerns and they will be able to develop a personalized plan in order for you to obtain your optimum physical well being. The holistic therapist may analyse treatments for such problems as weight loss, high cholesterol, mental alertness or ways to deal with sleepless nights, just to name a few.
        Even if you're not sure of the conditions or issues which are ailing you, your therapist may start by asking you questions about your current diet, exercise program, ways in which you deal with stress. You are asked to work alongside the therapist and implement their suggestions which may include making lifestyle or habit and/or environmental changes.   
        Some holistic therapists may choose to use a method called muscle testing in order to analyse what the body is missing organically speaking. This is done by holding various essential oils towards your chest at the same time, the therapist will ask you to hold out your hand and try to resist as they pull down on your arm.  If there is resistance, you are in need of the essential oil. If there is weakness, and your arm goes limp, it is acknowledged that your body does not require the essential oil in your hand. Your therapist may also obtain this information from you verbally. Whatever individual method used, your therapist will more than likely use aromatherapy personally designed for you starting with a carrier oil in which they will add customized essential oils to address whatever problems they are trying to resolve. Your therapist will more than likely also treat you with a series of massage, reflexology, facials and/or diet selections. Bad eating habits will be addressed during this time. You may be encouraged to eat healthy snacks or to remove something like egg yolks from your regular diet. The testing is used to solve both physical and emotional issues in the body. You may for example, be given an oil which contains peppermint, for mind alertness, lavender and sandalwood to relax the mind and/or juniper and rosemary for muscle aches and pains. 
        Stimulating the lymphatic system is a major concern for a holistic therapist. A lot of times, we do not live in one with nature, we come from a world filled with toxins and a therapist's job is to encourage detoxification in order to bring the body back to a natural balance with nature. The lymphatic system is the support system for the blood, which helps to take out toxins and is part of the cleansing system of the body. Body work combined together with aromatherapy is designed to encourage drainage of the lymphatic system and may help to aid with such conditions as a sluggish digestive system, for example.
        A series of homemade remedies in order to further your holistic results while at home may be encouraged.  This might consist of an herbal lotion. You may be encouraged to use a sea kelp wrap or algae sea salt in your bath at home while soaking. You may also, for example, be asked to include some of your freshly made essential oils for the bath which may include lemon, lavender and rosemary, a natural detoxent for weight loss. Other organic products may be suggested for you to try. Your therapist may help your body by recommending a homemade tea of rosemary and mint from your garden with a squeeze of lemon or they may administer a series of facials to calm acne. Your time with your therapist is about you and they are likely to play soothing music, burn scented candles and/or oil while working on your body as they bring you back to the balance you deserve.
        Holistic therapy will assist you in finding balance in life, building a healthy lifestyle, utilizing natural remedies, and taking charge of your well-being. As you work with your holistic therapist your overall health should improve and you should feel rejuvenated.Holistic therapy can assist you in tackling stress and obstacles!

First published December 2010 © Copyright



Supportive Exercising
By: Leontine Armstrong

Supporting a friend in any way they need you is sometimes one of the best things we can do for them. Try encouraging one of your friends who is struggling with keeping up a routine of working out, or trying to be consistent with something physical. An interesting fact is that when we help our friends with their difficulties we are also helping ourselves because we are putting forth positive energy towards assisting someone in need. You will feel great and they will feel great too. Showing you are genuine in trying to help your friend will help them with whatever is going on in their life. If you motivate and support them, you are showing your friend that they have someone there for them.

Supporting your friend becomes important when they really need you. Being there for them when they are ready to talk with you is very important. Some people won't accept your help, however, offer your help and wait for them to accept. It is difficult seeing a close friend in pain, but the best thing that you can do is to offer your help whenever they need your assistance. You can support your friend by doing several different things. You can be there to listen to them when they need to vent and just talk. You can also offer up advice and what you think might help them. Let them know that you won't be offended if they don't take your advice and that you are there to perhaps bounce ideas back and forth. Exercise is always a great idea for them to take on and encourage them to go out with you and do fun things.

Help your friend by encouraging them to set a goal. This goal can be to lose a certain amount of weight, get better at running, or working out with more weight. Whatever the goal is, it will give your friend something to look forward to with your help. Try and make one of the goals hanging out with friends, meeting other people who love to workout, and joining a gym or group exercise.

You can also support your friend by doing exercises with them. Try fishing, golfing, walking, bowling, or some other relaxing sports. When you help to distract your friend's mind you are helping them take a moment of relaxation they probably really need. Playing sports and exercising stimulates your mind and will help your friend release some of their anxiety and frustration.

Try supporting a friend by going on a walk with them. You'd be surprised how relaxing just walking and talking can be. There are several very useful reasons for doing this. You will be improving your cardiovascular system because you are moving your body and breathing a lot while you walk and talk. This is a wonderful way to help your friend de-stress and relax because walking has so many positive aspects. Your friend's mood will improve because they are venting to you as they are moving around and they will feel better because of this unique combination. Their attitude towards whatever it is that they are dealing with will improve as well because they will be discussing their problems with a trusted friend.  If they decide not to talk about what is bothering them, the walk will still be helping them burn up some pent up energy and they will feel better because they are moving their bodies around.

Another way to help your friend is to encourage them to spend time with you and other friends. Invite your friend out for a group workout. Classes such as pilates, yoga, zumba, kickboxing, and many others are perfect ways to encourage your friend to get out, meet new people, and brings their spirits up. These classes and groups are great for encouraging your friends because they will be interacting with other people who enjoy getting out and exercising. Group exercising is such a powerful encouragement for so many people because when we are around a positive energy we automatically feel better about ourselves and our lives. 

Be patient with your friend. Whatever they are going through, you need to remain supportive no matter what and be there for them whenever they need you. Don't get upset if they are slow in accepting help. They probably are trying to independently get through their problems, but it doesn't mean that they don't want your help. Be there, and be ready. Be the encouraging and supportive friend they need.

First published July 2010  © Copyright



Blessings, Curses, & the Human Condition
By: Laura-Lee Smith

      Tune into any news station and you will be bombarded by all that is going wrong in the world today. From disastrous oil spills affecting ecosystems and human livelihoods to countries we've barely heard of like Kyrgyzstan going through issues that seem unimaginable in this day and age. Occasionally, we will hear something heartwarming about someone being a hero or the birth of a fuzzy new animal at a zoo, but overall our society is as obsessed by the negative as we have always been. Cynicism is more often showcased in films and television than a rosier outlook on life. Entertaining that rosier outlook often labels you a goody two shoes or ignorant. It's no wonder with the world in turmoil and our society as it is, we often forget or are hesitant to stop and smell the roses.

      As strange as it may seem, it helps to know that the world is as bad as it has always been. With all of our advancements in industry and technology, we are still preoccupied by violence.  We aren't watching fights to the death like the Romans were, but the cages we pit two men against in the UFC are still covered in blood by the end of the night. Our politics are still like two children fighting in a sandbox. Wars are still being fought for resources in the name of liberty. We are still killing each other for petty reasons. There is no cause to give up in the face of all the negative media. What we must do is find a reason to keep a positive outlook. If you look hard enough, these reasons are all around us.

      The world may be just as bad as it has always been, but it still has the same amount of good in it too, maybe more. There are still people out there who not only want to make the world a better place, but are working to do so.  While the planet is giving us signs that we need to treat it better, there is still natural beauty around us to appreciate and help make us change our tune. The world and the people in it are both a curse and a blessing. To get by we must focus on the blessings.  

      Focusing on those blessings seems like something we could do easily, something we'd want to get on board with if not for the fact that on a lesser scale, we are obsessed with the negative in our day to day lives. At the end of every day before we close our eyes to recharge what usually goes through your head?  Your lunatic boss, how you're going to pay for school, you are on month three of dating this guy and he still won't put a ring on it, instead of working on becoming a size 6 this week you ate a whole bag of miniature Twix instead.  Every issue, every problem comes screaming at us not only when we are at rest, but in motion too. 

      These are the issues that keep us up at night and follow us into the next day. So instead of ending and starting your day on a negative note, remind yourself of all the joys and blessings you have in your personal  life. Every night go through all of the things and people in your life you are blessed with. Count every blessing regardless of how small you accomplished that day. Every morning you wake up do the same thing. You have family, health, even the smallest things like hearing your favorite song on the radio is a reason to let that feeling of warmth spread over you and help face the worries with a more positive outlook. 

      The world is a less frightening place when you have something to fight for. Don't let negative, unhappy people rain on your parade and tell you you're silly for trying to find some happiness when life often and easily gets us down.  Whatever you have in your life, be it Jesus, the gym, good friends, good family, a good meal, or your cat, if it brings you happiness then there is no reason to feel ashamed. Remember the world and the people in it are both a curse and a blessing. Your positive attitude makes you one of the blessings.

First published July 2010  © Copyright


The Spirit of Service
By: Paula M. Ezop

     The word "service" is a word that we are all familiar with. It brings to mind so many things - we think of the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces.  We think of the volunteers who donate their time and gifts to those in need, and we think of the many organizations that support so many causes. Causes that are close to their member's hearts. Causes that make a difference in people's lives.  All of these things come to mind when we hear that special word "service." A special word that has a spirit of its own.
     It is amazing how one single word can create so many mental pictures as well as numerous heartfelt emotions. One single word that warms the heart and brings a smile to your face - simply amazing.
     "Amazing," is another word that goes hand in hand with the word, "service."  Yes, it is amazing that our world has so many people who find the time to care and make a difference. Their caring spirits amaze us, as well as their tireless efforts. They serve people and causes that they "care" about.
     "Caring," is at the core of the meaning and the spirit of the word, "service." People who care - serve. So, if we put all of those words together, we have caring people who serve and amaze us with their spirit of brotherhood and their relentless efforts to make a difference. They are an inspiration to us all. Yes, we are thankful that they do what they do. And, it warms our hearts to know that there are so many people who care and make a difference.
     Stop and think for a moment. Ask yourself the following questions. Do I have the spirit of service? How do I make a difference?
Many of us probably don't do volunteer work, many of us probably don't belong to service organizations, and many of us don't belong to the armed forces. But, that doesn't mean that we don't have the spirit of service in our hearts. That doesn't mean that we don't care, and that doesn't mean that we don't make a difference.
     The spirit of service is a part of all of us.  We all care; we all make a difference in someone's life. Isn't that the real "spirit of service"?
     All of us practice the spirit of service everyday of our lives. Every time we reach out in love and kindness we show that we care, and that we want to make a difference in someone's life. Every time we smile at a stranger, every time we hug a crying child, every time we listen to and guide a friend in need we are working in the spirit of service.
     You see all of those little things that you do every day of your life is an expression of spiritual caring - spiritual service. You are showing your family, your friends, those you work with, your neighbors, and even strangers that you care. You are showing them that you want to make a difference in their lives - you amaze them with your kindness, your understanding, and your love. That is the spirit of service, and that is how we all serve everyday. That is how we all show that we care. That is how we make a difference and isn't the true spirit of service amazing! 
   

First published June 2010  © Copyright


Are You Trapped by Your Oversensitivity?
By: Ansa Edim

Has someone ever given you advice that sounded particularly harsh? Do you feel like you are always hearing negative comments from friends, family, and coworkers; or that you get emotional easily in an argument? Oversensitivity can lower your self-confidence, self-esteem and cause you stress that will only make you feel worse. If you are ever in a situation where you feel like your emotions accelerate faster than you can properly evaluate the situation, ask yourself these questions:

Q1.
Is it constructive or destructive criticism?

When you hear criticism, ask yourself if the person is being constructive or destructive. It is important to be able to take constructive criticism and keep telling yourself that they are just trying to help. If the criticism is destructive, oversensitivity can worsen the effect. Don't be too hard on yourself. If someone is hurting your feelings speak up. Build self confidence in yourself by standing up when you feel pushed, threatened, or hurt.

Q2.
Am I hearing what I want to hear?

At times people may say things that sound harsher than what they meant, however all you hear is something incredibly cruel. Constantly hearing negative things can be harmful to your self-esteem. If you are in doubt, ask the person to clarify their statement before reacting unnecessarily. Ask them what they meant by what they said. Most likely, they mean no harm to you and you may be overreacting.

Q3.
Is oversensitivity affecting my relationship?

If you have ever been in an argument with a partner, you know that people sometimes say things in anger that they don't mean. Try hard not to take these words to heart, or to stew over the feelings. Overanalyzing an argument can cause you stress. If you are hurt, try to think of a meaningful way to get your feelings across that doesn't raise the already high emotions in an argument. Calm yourself by breathing deeply and avoiding replaying the words in your head. When you are calm enough, speak from your heart how you feel. At the end of the day, if your partner has been hurting you constantly, it might be time for a change to save your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Q4.
Is the world out to get me?

No, the world is not out to get you and as harsh as it may sound, you are not always the center of attention. Just think: Are they talking about me? Is this person going through something that is making them angry today? Does this person have something against an aspect of me that I can't control? If you are constantly expecting people to criticize you, you are paranoid and waiting for the attack. If you are strong and confident on yourself, you won't be paranoid. Be yourself, be confident and keep your head up. You need to be comfortable in your own skin.

Q5.
Can I control what people say?
The answer in a simple way is no. Live by this code: "I can't control what people say about me, but I can control how their comments make me feel." Take control of your emotions before they take control of you. You are stronger than their words, always remember that. Instead of letting comments get to you so easily, sing your own praises to yourself. Be your biggest fan. Being in control of your feelings and knowing how you will react to criticism is part of self-confidence.

Q6.
Is my self-esteem too low?

Low self-esteem can be at the center of your oversensitivity and is the common vein in all of the above questions. As previously stated, confidence, confidence! When your self-esteem is low, every comment stings and it will only get worse until you get a firm hold on yourself. When you are confident, small comments roll off your back. When you have a healthy self-esteem, you may even have the confidence to ask politely, "Excuse me?" giving your potential attacker a chance to reassess their criticism. Evaluate your self-esteem and take a look within yourself to answer these questions. How you perceive criticism and whatever feelings you get from those around you can be constructed strictly in your head. It all depends on how much you trust yourself to believe in the fact that you are a strong, beautiful and confident woman.

Note: If you feel like you cannot control your oversensitivity and that it is affecting your life, you need to speak with a professional. These feelings can lead to extremely low self-esteem and even depression. Please take steps to empower yourself!

First published May 2010  © Copyright


Gaining Strength
By: Paula M. Ezop

        Life happens to all of us no matter our economic status, age, gender, or race. All of us experience the good times, the bad times, the joyous times, and the sad times. We can't escape life, but we can gain strength from all of our experiences whether they are wonderful joyous moments that we will never forget or challenging and life changing.
        There are times when life seems hopeless, times when life takes us to the dark places of fear, regret, and sadness. There are times when we are so scared and so afraid that we don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. The truth is that everyone has had times in their life when things were tough, dismal, heart wrenching, sad, and seemingly hopeless. Everyone has had times when things just didn't work out like they were supposed to. Times when it just seemed like everything went wrong and there may be times when we looked in the mirror and said to ourselves, "My life is a mess."
        The good news is that those difficult times don't last forever - because whether you realize it or not - there is always an answer. In the end we are the ones in charge of our destiny. We are the ones who make the decisions. This is where our inner strength steps in. This is where we must make a decision to move forward, to move out of that dark place no matter what it takes. Whether it is reaching out for help, or just admitting that you were wrong and apologizing. Maybe all it will take is saying those three wonderful words, "I love you."
        Yes, it is from those times, and those dark places that we find inner strength that we didn't even know we had. Through the trials that we face head on we grow, we gain strength, and we move out of the darkness of fear and into the sunlight of hopefulness. It begins with a whisper, a whisper that comes from within that tells us to, "Be strong. Focus. Find the answer and make it work." That whisper is all that we need to put an end to the fear, the regret, and the sadness. That whisper of determination and strength is our inner spirit speaking to us loud and clear. That small voice - our spirit, gives us the strength to move forward from darkness into the light.
        Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face…I say to myself, I've lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along." Imagine that, Eleanor Roosevelt knew those dark places of fear. She knew that she had to look fear right in the face. She knew that she had to hear that whisper of hope, and tell herself that she could live through the situation. Not only live through the fear but that she could and would gain strength so that she would be prepared to face whatever life brought her way in the future. Yes, the wife of the President of the United States gained inner strength, courage, and confidence each time she faced fear…
        So the next time you are afraid. The next time life seems hopeless, think of Eleanor Roosevelt. Look fear in the face and tell yourself that you can and will live through this…and remember, "I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face…" - Eleanor Roosevelt

Note: Esteem Yourself articles cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any field. Regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. If you are suffering from depression or have symptoms of depression talk to a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or a counselor.

First published April 2010  © Copyright


March Out Of Winter & Into Spring
By: Laura-Lee Smith

Many of us were beyond over winter and more than ready for spring after the blizzard of '09 ended and two months later snowmageddon 2010 hit the east coast.  Fortunately, we only have a few more weeks to soldier through blistering cold weather and unflattering winter coats before we can break out the flip-flops and spring cardigans.  Unfortunately we aren't there yet; we may already be carrying the extra spoils of winter on our bodies, and we may feel as though we've awoken from a long uncomfortable nap.  We not only have to deal with inclement weather and unflattering gear, but dry skin, a loss of Vitamin D from shorter days, the desire to stay indoors and hibernate, and a few extra pounds.  Many of us just commit ourselves to being miserable because, lets face it, that's what winter is, but here are a few helpful tips to not only combat the last few weeks of winter, but prime ourselves for an active and happy spring.

Winter Tip #1 Play the party planner.  Give some of your closest girlfriends a call, urge them to get a babysitter and have a dinner party.  Cook some hearty cold weather dishes; maybe try out a few new recipes on your friends.  Or try getting dressed up, ditch the boyfriends or husbands, find a local watering hole or your favorite restaurant, and have a night out with the girls.

Winter Tip #2 Remember to pamper your self in preparation for spring.  There will be winter days when going outside is so not going to happen.  Instead, stock up on masks, lotions, exfoliators, bath salts or bubbles, and have a spa day at home.  Skin can become especially problematic in the winter and keeping on top of a skin regiment, most importantly exfoliating and a nice, thick moisturizer is extra important.  Grab your favorite book, your most unsexy flannel pajamas, slather some avocado paste on your face, and curl up.  Not only will you relax, but you'll be prepping your skin for those cute spring dresses we're all dreaming about.
   
Winter Tip #3 Take yourself out on a date.  Find your favorite restaurant, plop yourself down at the bar, have a glass of red and some alone time.  A good meal and a little self-indulgence goes a long way to battle the winter weather.  Also, it's always a boost of self-confidence sitting by yourself with only your thoughts as company without any armor.

Winter Tip #4 Make a list of all the fun activities you want to do when the temperature goes up.  It will not only motivate you to get yourself ready for whatever is on your list, maybe a beach trip or a marathon, but it will also get you revved up and excited for spring.  After the beating we got on the east coast, we need something to look forward to.

Winter Tip #5 Get moving. You might ask yourself what the point of forcing yourself out of the warm confines of your home is.  Staying indoors may make you feel disconnected from the world as well as set you in a pattern that might be difficult to break on that first beautiful day.  The best way to combat it is to meet the world head on, cold or not.
 
It's hard to leave the house when the wind is howling outside and you can feel the cold down to your bones, but with a big sigh we get out of bed every morning, put clothes on and head out to work.  So why not battle the winter weather for something a little more fun?  It's been a long winter and many of us still have piles of snow on the ground to prove it, but making the effort to live when most mammals are hibernating will help you march out of winter and happily into spring.

First published March 2010  © Copyright


Fall In Love With You
By: Ansa Edim

We often times have significant others whom we depend on as an affirmation of our beauty, our intelligence, and at times even our usefulness. If that person leaves, even temporarily, we may feel lost and unable to find confidence in ourselves until someone else comes along to reaffirm us. Yes, other people are very important to your self-esteem, and a person's self-esteem and confidence can be gained through other peoples' praise. Through negative or positive feedback, you can excel or falter in life. However, relying solely on one person to build your self-esteem is unhealthy and can be dangerous. If you depend on one person for validation, that person can help you build your confidence and also help destroy it. If someone can bring you love, they can also take it away. Whether they're helping or hindering your self-esteem, constant dependency from anyone other than yourself is unnecessary; for you alone can build your self-esteem. Remember, you are in control of you. Your self-esteem should be based on how you feel about yourself, not what others think of you. Confidence comes from within. Beauty comes from within. Self-esteem comes from within. Love comes from within. Escape the need to depend on validation from others. Learn how to strengthen yourself from within.

Confidence
Think of ways to build your confidence. Take a public speaking class or dance class. Take up a sport. Make a list of things you want to do. Do something outside of your regular activity. Be wild and bold. Step outside of your shell. Do things that will take you out of your comfort zone. Do something that you never thought you could do before. Instill confidence within yourself. Don't borrow it from your significant other.

Beauty
Get a makeover with the girls! Take time out to treat yourself. Go to a local makeup counter with your girlfriends and get your make up, hair, and nails done. Go to the spa! Also remember that beauty is on the inside. Your skills, talents, personality and traits among many other components are what make you beautiful. They make you YOU. You may not be able to control outer beauty, however inner beauty is completely in your hands.

Self-esteem
How can you build your self-esteem? First, find out why you have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem leads to thoughts of "I don't deserve that", "everything is too good for me", or "I'm not worthy". Take steps to build your self-esteem. When you look to someone else for self-esteem, they are in control of how you feel about yourself. If you already have high self-esteem, negative influences will bounce right off of you. When someone tries to belittle you, it's not going to work. Think to yourself, "I don't need that person to validate me." Self-esteem is important because it encompasses self-confidence, beauty, and love.

Love
You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else or before anyone can love you. If you don't, their love will go away one day and you will be left empty without it. If you're left with no love, what are you going to do? You're going to keep looking for the rest of your life without true satisfaction. You will never be complete until you find yourself - until you're able to say to yourself "I love you." You have to find true love inside yourself. No matter who comes and goes in your life, you will always be the constant. Although relationships without self-love sometimes make it, nevertheless in order to feel complete love you have to love yourself first. Once you are able to tell what real love is, you will be able to determine when someone else's affections for you are real or fake.

Confidence, beauty, self-esteem and love are four important parts of your well-being. These fundamental elements are going to assist you in building true love within. Without a firm grip, if your love leaves, you are back again at square one. You want to be able to find true love through your own self. Once you can find true love, you can give it. Learn to be happy by yourself. You need to learn to be stable without having someone to lean on. You cannot create happiness through someone else. You have to create it within yourself and promote it through yourself.

Published Feb. 2010  © Copyright

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